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Twist Of Fate

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[25 Sep 2006|09:15pm]

[ mood | devious ]

Perched from where I was she looked so small. Blonde and carryin’ herself through the streets like she was meant to do just that. Guess she kinda was considerin’ who she is and all not that I care, at least not anymore. I wondered if she could feel me lookin’ down at her, wonder if she was just lettin’ me get away with starin’ at her. Yeah if the hair on the back of my neck was standin’ up I knew girlfriend was feeling it, now if she’d only do something about it. She was called after I fell so she was still kinda new in town, fell right in with the fuckin’ white hats though. Crowd I used to run with. Got wicked sick of bein’ the Slayer all the time, a girl gets bored yano so I had to find some of my own kinda fun despite the danger that was always happening around here. Not much to do in this borin’ ass town other than kill demons, shoulda stayed in Boston if you ask me. At least there I had my pick of the Southies and didn’t have a shortage of ‘em tryin’ to get in my pants. Here you had to practically beg the dork school boys to touch your ass while brushin’ past you in the Bronze. Me and Queen C drove ‘em wild on occasion, on occasion bein’ when that stick rammed up her ass wasn’t in the way and I spiked her drink with booze. That was until I met her that night… wasn’t even expectin’ it.

I was smack dab in the middle of bodies thrashin’ around in the Bronze, body heat wrappin’ around me in all the right places. Hands and arms brushing against my skin and driving me more and more insane. The words of the music didn’t matter, couldn’t even hear them really, just the beat drivin’ me on. Soles of my boots the only thing connectin’ me to this shit hole town with its boring people and shops. My senses took a turn, my body gettin’ cold which usually meant a vamp was nearby. My eyes started silently scannin’ the crowd trying to find the fucker who dared come in here while I’m here. Bronze was my territory, at least that night it was, and no vamp belonged in here plain and simple. That was before I felt a cool brush of fingertips along my lower back makin’ me tingle, couldn’t be Cor she was always hot. I turned and didn’t see anything but when I turned back around there she was. Small and blonde and smilin’ at me like I was the cream in the cat’s bowl. I didn’t know what to do as she circled around me takin’ me in like she was gonna eat me alive right there. That’s pretty much how it went for the next couple of weeks each time more and more skin touched, words whispered and promises of threats heavy in the air. Made me wonder why I’d ever wasted my time on anyone else with the way she made me feel. Felt like I was kinda betrayin’ my calling and all but you just don’t understand the way her mouth felt against my skin. Her hands… well, yano.

Didn’t take much time for her to have me totally wrapped around her little finger and doin’ whatever it was she wanted. She didn’t seem to push me down for bein’ a naughty little Slayer, always tellin’ me how wicked I was and how much potential I had. Rubbed a girl just the right way if you know what I mean, started to get wicked sick of the Scoobs tellin’ me I was slackin’ on my job. Slacking on my job? I was right in the middle of a power vampire’s business, they didn’t need to know I was goin’ about it all wrong and more than likely totally in thrall. She told me I’d be able to show them all as her fangs sank into my throat, me ridin’ the edge of orgasm as she drank me dry. Last thing I remembered was her whisperin’ to me that Sunnydale would be ours as my eyes closed. Nobody never came to save me, never even bothered to find out where I’d been. New Slayer called before the sun rose the next morning and I knew she was eventually gonna hunt me down. When I woke up I had never in my entire life ached from hunger so fuckin’ bad, not even the times I’d had the munchies from smokin’ weed out back in the tool shed. The need for blood was so bad I could barely contain myself as Darla strolled me through the streets, tryin’ to find the perfect first meal for me. It couldn’t be a Scoob she said, they’d be expectin’ that the new Slayer be around them waitin’ on me. As soon as I saw her I knew, knew she was the one I wanted but Darla told me not yet. I had to wait… I had to feed and learn the love of the kill before I could play. So night after night, blood bath after blood bath I waited patiently for her.

When the gang found out I’d been turned they all acted fuckin’ heart broken and I caught them cryin’ in the cemetery one night on patrol. I almost wanted to laugh at them and tell her what a fuckin’ baby she was, tell them how much more power I had now. I had to wait for that too, had to wait until I was strong enough to fight the new bitch and make her lay down like a good little girl. Take away their only leader and leave them alone and weak. That day would come and Darla was preparin’ me for it, showin’ me how to hunt and how to fight. How to torment someone enough to bring them to their knees and beg you to take them. I’d watched her do it a buncha times, usually watchin’ from a dark corner with my hand in my pants getting’ off on it. She was so fuckin’ powerful it made me ache all the time to be around her, always doin’ what she wanted me to do. Thankful she’d paid the attention to me that I so desperately wanted, that’s all a girl wanted was someone to tell her what a good girl she was. Heard that all my life so guess not much has changed. That’s why when I finally could have what I wanted and when sweet little Fred hit her knees and begged me, I realized I owed Darla everything in the world. She’d brought me to this place and I felt powerful just like she promised, her hands strokin’ through my hair as I drank deep from the sweet little Texan. My pleading eyes as Darla nodded her head and let me turn Fred, keepin’ her as my little treasure.

What a naughty little treasure she turned out to be too, stalkin’ around like a sweet little school girl and foolin’ them all. I loved watchin’ her, fuck I loved everything about her. She was cold and cruel and all mine but I never forgot who I belonged to, not once. So as my eyes followed the reason I sit perched on this building top, I couldn’t help but wait for the moment I could make her beg me like the bitch she was. Beg me to end her pathetic life, bein’ the second Slayer. Darla watchin’ me and egging me on and smilin’ as the second called Slayer feel down beneath the vampire Slayer. She was gonna be mine but I wasn’t going to share this life with her, oh no I just wanted her hot blood runnin’ down my throat as she cried for her friend’s lives. I’d kill them all too it was only a matter of time. Like Darla said… we were going to own the world. I believe her too. This town was ours, okay hers but I was helpin’. I was that much closer to B and she was that much closer to havin’ an army that would do her bidding at the drop of a hat. A blood bath I’d gladly lead if it meant gettin’ all the things she promised… so far so good.

I watched as the sad girl made her way into a dark alley after a set of vamps, fist raised furiously as she took all her anger out on them. Anger meant for me and oh how I could barely wait to feel her hot little fists rainin’ down on my skin. It made a girl tingle in all the right spots. I leapt along the rooftops after she disappeared, takin’ bites here and there until I was full up but leavin’ the bodies in obvious locations. She’d know they were presents from me, who else would leave her such pretty gifts? I sauntered into the mansion and grinned at the sounds of cries comin’ from the garden, someone was busy. I crawled through the dirt and leaves, boot tips draggin’ against the stone tiles as I watched a beautiful boy beg for his life in the grips of Darla’s magnificent fingers. I smiled and stayed perfectly still watchin’ from where I was, lettin’ out a low needy growl as she sank her fingernails into his skin spillin’ blood. I couldn’t hear a heart beat comin’ from this one so I furrowed my brows in confusion as I watched. She jerked him to his feet and said one name. Angelus. Was this the impressive Angelus I had heard Darla talk about before? He didn’t look so impressive with tears rollin’ down his face as he struggled against her. I stayed in the shadows… watching as he was chained and pulled off through the garden by the little minions, not sayin’ a word but just takin’ in everything I’d seen.

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[14 Sep 2006|01:34pm]

[ mood | optimistic ]

It was fine. Of course it was fine. Faith had slayer things to do. Slayer things that involved hanging around with Mr. I-Like-to-Follow-Faith-Around-With-My-Really-Big-Forehead-and-Since-I-Have-a-Soul-That's-Okay Vampire. Her spending time with me could wait. The pizza, the popcorn, the movies, the bong - especially the bong, and crazy time in front of the tv could wait. She had important things to do. Like saving the world from unspeakable demons. So what if there was some spending time with her very own personal stalker demon on the side right?

Okay, so maybe it wasn't fine. I mean, it wasn't like I could say she couldn't go do her slayer things just because I wanted to spend some time with my best friend. You know, just like on Valentine's Day. If I didn't like that stupid day at the time I really didn't like it now. It's the day that makes Xander ask me to do a love spell for him and then gets me in all kinds of trouble. That's exactly how it happened. He asked me to do the spell. I was just... being a good friend.

After I'd gotten the movies from Faith, I got in my car and just drove away. Her and Angel could do the saving the world thing and I could ... spend time watching bad action movies with me and my bong? Yeah, no. That idea was about as exciting as refiling all of the papers in Mr. Pryce's office like we had to do earlier tonight. No, tonight I could find my own fun without Faith. Of course I could. Last time I almost got eaten by some vampire, but that wasn't gonna happen again. And if it did maybe I'd see Charles and he'd do that rescue thing again.

I was still kinda hungry though. And thirsty. The pizza and popcorn idea was out the window, but the Bronze was on the way home, maybe I could find something to do there. Though hopefully I wouldn't run into Xander. Or Cordelia.

Parking the car outside, I got out and headed inside. It was a typical night with people standing around and out on the dance floor, so after getting a coke and some peanuts I just made my way over to a table and sat down. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I really didn't see hardly anybody that I knew and at least at home I could be alone by myself. When I was about halfway through my bowl of peanuts, I nearly just got up to go home to watch those movies, but stopped when someone walked up and sat next to me.

"Hey, mind if I sit here?"

Smiling a little, I shrugged. "Sure, go ahead." Once she sat down, I offered my bowl of peanuts to see if she'd want some. She looked about my age, but I couldn't remember ever seeing her before now.

"Thanks," she said and dipped her hand in the bowl. "This place is so crazy. I heard some people at school talking about it being the best hang-out place in town though so I thought I'd check it out."

"Yeah, probably the only place to do that in town."

"I'm Laurie, by the way. You go to Sunnydale High right? I think I've seen you around. I'm new in town, so I don't know very many people."

I nodded. "Yeah. And I'm Fred. Well, Winifred, but you can call me Fred."

We sat there for a while and actually fell into easy conversation. There was something about Laurie that made her easy to talk to. Wasn't the same as talking with Faith, but once we got to talking I actually forgot about the whole 'everything is fine' and Faith leaving me and our girl's night out to go off with Angel thing. After a while, she mentioned something about how I looked lonely when she first walked up, and it all just spilled out I guess. Well, not the part about Faith being a slayer and Angel being a vampire since she'd probably call me crazy. No, Faith was in a band with Angel and he'd just snatched her away for an extra practice. Faith was the drummer and Angel was the cheesy lead singer who thought everyone was in love with him.

"It's not like I don't like Angel or anything, but he's just always around you know? Especially at night. Faith already has plenty of band time with him and Mr-.. Wesley, but then Angel decides that isn't enough and there's just this really important song that they have to work on and it can't wait."

"Fred, don't you wish there was something you could do to keep Angel from asking Faith to practice all the time?"

I shrugged and sipped a little more from my coke. "I don't know, maybe sometimes I guess. I mean, he's alright." After all, there was that one time that he saved all of our lives in the library and killed Darla. "I just.. can't there be like a set limit of time for practices? Give me a schedule or something so I won't keep getting stuck at home alone watching movies or end up here by myself. I mean, not that I'm by myself now. You're here and I'm having a good time and oh crap all I've been doing is talk about Faith and Angel this whole time." I made a face, trying to say I was sorry, but she waved me off.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm just glad to have someone to talk to. It's good that you're getting all this out in the open. Makes you feel a little better doesn't it?"

Couldn't help but smile at that a little. I did feel a little better actually. Should I? Probably not, but eh it wasn't like Faith was here to see me feeling better about all this. She was out who knows where with Angel doing who knows what. Sipping my coke again, I looked sheepishly at Laurie. "I probably shouldn't say this because it's not fair to either of them, but sometimes I think it'd be nice if Faith wasn't so wrapped up in Angel or in.. her band. Okay, maybe sometimes I just wish that Angel had never come to Sunnydale." There, I said it.

Then Laurie got a smile on her face and just looked at me kinda weird. Her face changed. Not like a vampire's face changing, but still it changed. "Done."

Suddenly, the room disappeared and I was standing outside in the dark on the street by myself. It was done? What was done? Looking down at myself I noticed I wasn't wearing the same clothes I had been earlier. No, now I was wearing... huh. Hearing some voices, I looked up to see a couple hurrying down the opposite side of the street. Tilting my head slightly to the side, I felt a strange yet completely natural sense of hunger and want, no need. Licking my lips, I scraped my tongue over my teeth and felt fangs.

Fangs. Hunger. A wicked smile crept on my lips and I realized what was happening. I remembered two lives. This new, fresh one and the other that I'd just come from moments ago. Don't know how it happened, but I was already liking this one. A lot. Stepping out of the shadows, I watched the couple from across the street a moment longer before sprinting over catching them by surprise. Silly toys. I'd eat the nutcracker now and bring the dolly home. Mmm yes. For Xander. He'd love a present. Maybe Faith would like a taste too if she was there.

Fresh, new skin and already I liked this so much more than the other. I bet Faith liked me better in this skin too. And if she didn't she could show me what she liked best.

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[10 Sep 2006|08:26pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

No. It's not that easy, Angel. You have to kill me, I'll kill them all if you don't. I'll kill everybody. William doesn't have plans, but I do. I don't like this place anymore, I want it to be different. I'll make it different.

Her words resonated through my mind as I picked myself up from the ground, my hand moving to my jaw where Buffy totally socked me one. She was certainly more than one flew over the cuckoo's nest and taking her down just took a new place in my heart- well, mind... whatever. I knew that her and Faith were close, if that's even the right word really. I hadn't let Faith know what I knew about her and Buffy, Buffy'd told me long before Faith and I ever got involved. Involved? Is that even the right word? Vampires and Slayers are usually like water and oil but somehow me being here to protect her has become slightly more involved than that.

At any rate I needed to find Faith and make sure she was safe and inside somewhere, guessing she was probably not at home so I used what vampires know best. Scent. It was more than easy to track her down with her being a Slayer but it was curious how I couldn't track Buffy, granted she is a vampire and that may be the difference. Who knows but I do know one thing, Buffy is out and about lose and insane and more than likely going on her killing spree of three she rambled about. Who the hell were the three? Beat the hell out of me. I found myself on a strange suburban side street and realized that Faith was not at home, someone elses house. Possibly a friend from school? I followed her scent and was a bit upset when I realized that she was out and about wandering the streets of Sunnydale in the dark.

No. It's not that easy, Angel. You have to kill me, I'll kill them all if you don't. I'll kill everybody. William doesn't have plans, but I do. I don't like this place anymore, I want it to be different. I'll make it different.

I shook my head and rounded the corner onto Main Street Sunnydale which was filled with teenagers and adults mingling at the Espresso Pump and movie theater. I scanned the crowd but didn't see Faith or whomever she was with, she was close enough though which meant I wasn't leaving here until she was with me. I was putting my money on her not being to big on going home and being safe or me taking her back to the mansion but it wasn't a choice. Buffy was a lunatic hell bent on killing Faith and that wasn't going to happen on my watch. I haven't had a vision in a long while, wasn't sure if I should be concerned or not because honestly they are a pain. Wondered if Whistler was going to make an appearance any time soon, he'd be able to tell me. I heard a bunch of giggling erupt from behind me and I turned in time to see Faith and a girl friend from school come piling out of a video store.

"Faith, I'm so glad I found you." I said they approached me, both stopped and looked at me and then at one another and erupted into a fit of laughter once again. What the hell was- I looked at both of their eyes and they were dilated and glassy. Great, fabulous. Keep yourself in check Angel, you're not her Watcher or her Father. "Faith and um- Fred is it? I'm sorry to interrupt your fun time but we need to get you both inside and quick." Faith gave me an annoyed look and Fred just kept giggling and trying to hold it in, I finally took Faith by her arm and pulled her aside to talk to her quietly. No need to get the other girl scared or worked up.

"I'm sorry to interrupt after all that has... happened tonight but it's Buffy." I said in a hushed tone.

[open to the stoners]

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Hope you find yourself in a low place like home [25 Aug 2006|10:38pm]

William was all mad at me still. I didn't know why, he doesn't make alot of sense. Think he's still mad cause I didn't kill her. If he thought he could do better he should go kill her. Stupid....vampire. Thought he knew everything but he wasn't the only one that talked to me. Nope. Spike thought he was my only friend but he didn't know anything.

1, 2 already down.

The voice wasn't scary anymore. Not really because I'm way scarier than everything else. So I'm like not even afraid anymore. Not of the voice anyway, sometimes though I think it might go away. It can't. I mean it can't cause if it went away then I wouldn't have any friends. Besides William, but we weren't really friends. I don't think he likes me very much at all. I killed Dru. It's okay. Sometimes he cried when nobody watched, but I saw almost everything. You know, when I was there. I needed him. If he went away it would just be me again because I killed them all.

I killed them all.

"How many more to go?" I asked as I pulled on my favorite pants. The really pretty ones. I got them on sale at the mall but I don't really have to pay for anything anymore.


Two. Angel and Spike. They were the two left. Darla and Dru already down. I don't know why there were three now. Shouldn't be three.

"YOU'RE CHANGING EVERYTHING!" I yelled, twisting my fingers around long strands of blonde hair as I beat them against my face. "STOP IT!"

It got really quiet so I pulled my hands away from my face and looked around. Oh no. Did I make it mad? Mad like William was? I couldn't really kill them all. They were too strong and I wasn't strong at all. No. Not good enough. Not good enough for them. For her. Never good enough.

"COME BACK!" I yelled to the empty room. God, I hated this room. It was so stupid you know. Staying in this motel. We didn't need this room. Told William that but then he reminded me that I burned his crypt down so yeah. I guess he was mad at me about that too.

"Who's the third? Tell me why three? You want Angel and William, want their dust. That's two."

I knew the two. I could take Angel. I'd kill him. Yep. Just like she told me to do to William. I couldn't do William. He was too hard. I liked him the way he was but....I still hated him too. Maybe I could do Angel and Faith could do William and then we'd be together. I don't know. I'd kill Angel and figure out the rest later.

Shrugging I turned back around and opened up a drawer before pulling a Snickers bar out. Unwrapping the package I chewed on it loudly but it wasn't working. I was still hungry. Stupid thing. Angrily I threw it to the floor and thought about where I'd go tonight. Somewhere where I could find food.

You are.

I stopped in my tracks and looked around.

"I am?"

Angel. Spike. You. Kill them all.

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW! You don't know anything!" Angrily I pushed all of the things on the table over to the ground. Made a big mess. William would be angry.

It wasn't me. I wasn't three. Kill them all. I knew why though, of course. I knew why it wanted me too. Because I wasn't right anymore. William saved me, made me all better but I'm not right. Nope. I pulled the stake out of my waistband and looked at it for a minute. I was a monster. That's what she said. I'm a monster now. That's why they wanted me. I was one of them.

If they wanted three monsters I'd give them. I'd find them. Has to be the special three though. We're a family. William. Angel. And Faith. I'd make her like me and then send three.

I could still slay vampires. I'm the vampire slayer.

Went out to hunt and found some food but it was never really better. I was still hungry alot and sometimes they wanted me to do stuff for them but I mostly just killed them. At least tonight cause I wasn't really in the mood for the slow kill. Not for them. The slow kill was special, you had to wait for the right time. The right person. Maybe I'd never be hungry again after that.

I saw a boy in her yard. A boy and a girl the way it was supposed to be except why were they here? I think I remembered them being friends with Faith except I never really paid attention to Faith's friends. Maybe I should start. Cause I liked him. He was nice. I was going to make him like me and then we could go kill Faith together but there were way too many of them.

He's not the one.

They were all fighting with eachother to keep him and I totally could have kept him if I wanted to, but I didn't really. When I looked at him again, Xander, he wasn't that impressive. No. Not for me. I liked William.

I guess the other girls thought so too because they all left and then Xander left and it was just me. Just me because when I looked in her window she wasn't there either. Out for the night. Out anywhere but looking for me. Why didn't she see me? I mean really see me. She should look harder.

I'd make her.

I felt something tug on my ankle and then suddenly I was falling off of the tree and falling down to the yard. Ouch. With a pout I glanced up and realized who had pulled me down.

"Oh good. I was looking for you." I said as I got back up to my feet and pulled my stake out. "I have to kill you now."
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I don't even know how we could let this happen [16 Aug 2006|04:46am]

[ mood | embarrassed ]

When Charles had freed me from the handcuffs, I flashed him a quick smile and then shot a smug look to Faith. She was still stuck in that cage and with the way she was slamming around and acting and so I'm sure the last thing on Charles' mind was opening that cage door. Oh well. Worked better for me that Faith was acting like the psycho slayer she really was. I didn't have to worry about her stealing away my Xander. Not that she even could steal him. He was already mine and nothing could ever come between us. Mine. And if he tried to deny it again I'd make sure he saw it my way. Our way.

"Thanks!" I said happily to Charles and looked at Faith again. "Not gonna lie, glad you're still locked in that cage, Faith. That way your dirty hands won't be able to touch my Xander again." She looked like she wanted to kill me and I just smiled at her. "I'll tell him you said hi." And with just another smiile to Charles, I ran out the library doors.

I wasn't really sure where Faith's BOYFRIEND had taken MY Xander, but I started as I started running down a street, I heard some girls yelling at each other off to the side about who was going to get to Xander first. HEY. Hands off, bitches. He was mine. Listening to them for just a second longer, I heard one of them say something about his home, so I dashed off in the direction of Xander's house. It wasn't long before I started to see girls in front of me, joining me, and behind me. Oh no. They weren't going to get him. Not when I had something to say about it.

Reaching his house, I pushed through the herd of girls and that's when I saw him. "Xander!" I yelled, raising my hands. He didn't respond, so must've just not heard me. I left the group and ran around back. I'd save him from all the skanks who kept trying to steal him from me. Rounding the corner of the house, I saw her. HER. How could he do that to me?? Charging forward, I waited until she turned around and punched her hard in the face. She looked up at me and I just glared down at her. Once she got up, she tried pushing me out of the way and pulling Xander with her, but soon the rest of the girls started to grab at Xander. NO! Grabbing one of the girls, I started shaking her. "No one tries to hurt him except ME!"

We were grabbing and pulling at one another when suddenly we both stopped as well as everyone else around us. What had... huh? The girl and I quickly let each other go and I looked over to see Xander. Oh... OH. My eyes went wide when I realized what had just been happening. We were.. all going after.. Xander? Biting my lip, I slowly started backing away from the group and hoped to god that he wouldn't see me. Cordelia sure had seen me and my fist and oh my god I'd just punched Cordelia Chase in the eye over Xander. Xander! What had I... how?

Oh right. The spell.

The rest of the group started to disperse and I started making my way away from his house. Mr. Pryce probably wanted to skin me alive right now. I think I wished that he would or at least would force me to live in seclusion so I wouldn't ever have to see Xander, Cordelia, Angel, Charles, or.. Faith. Oh. Faith! Stopping in my tracks, I wondered if I should go back for her. Had the spell worn off for her too? Probably. And that probably meant that she really wanted out of that cage right now.

I finally decided to head back to school and turned down the street. Great. This was just wonderful. My first real spell and I turn the entire female population into Xander-lovesick puppies. Including myself and Faith. Once I'd gotten to the school, I walked even slower towards the library. Charles hadn't let her out had he? He couldn't have. I mean, she was threatening to kill me at the time. Oh crap. What exactly had we said to each other? Whatever it all was, I really don't remember it being full of warm wishes.

As I got closer to the library, I started to hear some yelling. Uhoh. Mr. Pryce was back and ... not happy. At all. I almost didn't go in, but I saw Faith and knew that this was all my fault. No, wait. It wasn't ALL my fault. Xander was the one who asked me about doing the spell and Mr. Pryce was the one who happened to leave his spell books around for anyone to stumble upon. Okay, so he told me to keep my hands off of the books, but I couldn't help it that I wanted to learn. This was school after all, wasn't it? Stepping into the library, two sets of eyes focused on me and I stopped just inside the doorway.

"Miss Burkle, do you see this mess you've caused!? I specifically told you to leave the books alone and not to practice any magic. It seems that the crisis is over, but do you see what the reckless use of magic can do?! It's a wonder that no one was severely injured in all this what with every last female in this school in desperate love with Xander Harris."

Desperate love? So, he'd noticed that huh?

"And just look at the mess Faith made in the cage. Books everywhere, the card catalogues strewn..." He looked carefully between both Faith and me. "The both of you will clean up this mess before you leave." What?! I didn't have anything to do with that mess Faith made inside the cage. Okay, so maybe I did a little. It's not like my objective in all this was to get Mr. Pryce in a huff about his books. "This all had better be cleaned up when I get here in the morning." With that he gathered a few of his things, including a specific book with a specific spell, and left the library. Maybe he was going to make sure Ms. Calendar wasn't still swooning over the high school boy.

Standing there quietly for a moment, I looked up at Faith and bit my lower lip nervously. We'd both been in desperate love... with Xander.

"So, um. Xander?"

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I have sunk so low [03 Aug 2006|10:15pm]

God, how was this happening to me? I was planning on cheerleading practice followed by hours and hours of reading Cosmo and gossiping on the phone, ending the night at the Bronze in my cute new outfit and what was I doing? Running through backyards hand in hand with Xander Harris. Could my life resemble a giant suck anymore? I didn't think so, and I was pretty sure I heard a crash before we had taken off. Did they hurt my car? They better not have hurt my car!

I was going to stop and turn back but Xander tugged insistantly on my hand and I followed him. Did he have any idea how hard it was to run in these heels? My guess was not, but you never did know.

Finally we couldn't hear the sound of girls running behind us and the two of us stopped breathlessly in a backyard. And hey, wasn't this Faith's house? Oh great, let's stop right where the Super Skank can find us. What a brilliant plan that was. This was what I got for sticking my neck out where it clearly didn't belong. I should have left well enough alone.

Breathing hard I collapsed against the side of her house as Xander ran a hand through his hair. He looked just as freaked as I was and HELLO everybody was in love with him! I'd seen some hairy stuff on the hellmouth but this? Took the cake.

"What the hell is going on?" I finally demanded of him once I'd caught my breath.

"This is all my fault, Cordy." He muttered.

Well, no duh but could we at least try and be a little more specific than that?

"I did a spell, or I had Fred do a spell, a love spell but this wasn't how it was supposed to be!" He exclaimed, finally meeting my gaze.

"A love spell? This is how you get all the women of Sunnydale to go psycho? Did you lose your brain?!"

I didn't know anything about spells but I'd spent enough time hanging around the freaks and losers to know that they were bad news. There were vampires and there were spells and they both ranked right up there with wearing K-Mart brand clothing or joining the Chess Club. Well okay, maybe the Chess Club was worse.

"I take it back! This is all your fault!" He shouted, waving that finger in my face again.

Putting my hands on my hips I stood up from the house and glared right back at him.

"My fault?!"

"Yep! Your fault. If you'd thaw out once in awhile and stop being such a bitch I wouldn't have had to do a spell to make you fall in love with me! And it didn't even work and now you're the only one who's not in love with me."

"Hey! Don't you call me a......what?" I blinked at him. "You did this for me?"

"I do everything for you, Cordy."

A long moment stretched out between the two of us and just when I'd realized Xander had actually made me speechless I saw a shadow looming just behind him.

"Xander," I went to reach out for him but it was too late, she already had him in her grasp.

Speaking of Super Skank, except this one was blonde and I'd never seen her before. Where did she come from? And why did she have her hands all over my NOT boyfriend?!

"I like this one," The blonde said as she tightened her grip on him and pulled him closer. "I think I'll keep him." And that was when I saw the flash of fangs near his throat. Oh God.

Xander looked so terrified as I just stood there for a minute not sure what I should do. I wasn't the slayer! I didn't...slay things. I shopped for shoes and occasionally was the top of a pyramid on the sidelines at football games. I didn't mess with vampires! It was like being frozen in place and this was ALL his fault! He was the idiot who did a stupid love spell and look where it had gotten him!

Just when I was about to go with my backup plan of screaming bloody murder a solution presented itself, and made the situation worse. I guess it depended on your point of view. Suddenly a herd of girls came out of nowhere and mowed the tiny blonde over, trying to all grab onto Xander.

"Xander!" I yelled through the din of female voices and finally found his hand, pulling him through the crowd and back up to his feet again.

I didn't make it far though before I felt something slam into my face, or more specifically my eye. OW! Angrily I glanced up and saw Fred standing over me with her hand clenched into a fist. Did Fred just punch me in the eye?! That was gonna leave a mark! Okay, first rule of Sunnydale High School, loser nerds were NOT allowed to punch me in the face.

Pushing Fred out of my way I tried to find Xander again but there was already a crowd of girls on top of him all fighting eachother for him and this? Was officially Bizarro World.

And then suddenly, as if out of nowhere they all stopped and looked at eachother in confusion. Xander looked most confused of all as they all stood up slowly and look around, choruses of 'what just happened' floating through the air as the crowd slowly began to disperse.

"Are you okay?" I asked him as I helped him back up to his feet, he looked worse for wear which was saying alot when it came to him.

"Yeah. I think so." He rubbed his head before looking back at me and squinting a little bit, tilting my chin up with his fingers to look at what I was sure was going to be a gigantic bruise come morning. Ugh. "Are you okay?"

I arched an eyebrow in his direction.

"Yeah, okay. Point taken." He finally said, backing off a little bit with a sigh. "Let's get you back to your car, and then you can get away from me as fast as possible."

Now that was the best plan I'd heard all night.
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HELLLLLLLLLLLLP. [06 Jul 2006|10:11pm]

[ mood | scared ]

What had I done?

I think this was the most stupidest thing that Xander Harris has ever done. Ever. I tried to think back on my memory of all the stupid things that I've done, but nope. This was it. The most stupidest thing ever. And Cordelia was here to witness all of it. Great. The spell was supposed to be for her but now seeing as how every other girl was acting? Well, I'm kinda glad that she wasn't affected. She's a bitch without a spell, but with a spell? In total love with me and possibly armed? Yeah, I'd still be in trouble.

We all stood around my bedroom as Cordelia told us that an army of girls were coming to my house. Now, normally? I'm thinkin' kinda nice but now, well, not so much. Angel told me that I needed to get out of here in that tone where he's saying that he wasn't coming with me. Okay, so for the most part? I couldn't stand him. I didn't like him but right now? I NEEDED him to fend off the Xander loving chicks that would do anything for a glance from me. This was bad! I needed him and he's ... not coming. I'm stuck with Cordelia and she has to take me someplace safe? Yeah right. I'm better off with Faith even with a spell.

Running a hand through my hair, I gave Cordelia a look. Was she even going to do this? Would she actually keep me safe? Er ... wait. No! I'm keeping myself safe and well, Cordelia's helping. Yeah right.

Turning around, I jumped automatically when we all heard a rumble. "Oh God, I'm going to die with a million girls on top of me and I won't be able to enjoy it..." I said and swallowed hard; I could almost hear the gulp as I glanced at Cordelia, then Angel who was opening the window.

Quickly, I moved toward the window and climbed up, then pushed myself out. Rolling over on the grass, I could hear voices and quickly stuck my head in, "Hurry up!" I whispered/yelled at Cordelia then hid behind a bush. Just in case.

(Oh Cooooooooooooooooordy)

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[02 Jul 2006|06:39pm]

Somethin' was seriously up around this damn school cause the chicks were totally bent for this dude, Xander. Didn't know who he was, but damn, wish I was cause he got all the honey's wantin' a peice of him. Walkin' down the hall, there were just girls huddled around and every word that came out of their pretty lips was Xander this and Xander that. Who the fuck was Xander? Pushin' my way through the doors, I headed straight up to the bookshelves, lookin' for some book for a damn class that I needed to read.

Heard a noise and tilted my head before takin' a step back to look around the shelves and down on the main floor. What the fuck yo! Walkin' down, I set my books on a table and came closer. Was Fred handcuffed? Raised my eyebrow and grinned a little.

"Gettin' freaky with the librarian? Didn't know you were into all that," I said and heard a crash and looked up. How could I have not noticed another chick ... wait, that ain't no other chick, that's Faith.

"Alright, are you both freaky deakin' with the man?" Then it hit me. I knew that Fred hung out with Faith and they hung out with a boy who's name I forgot, but ... shit, no. Xander. Tall, white, weird kid. Shit.

(open to Faith and Freddles)
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I won't care for you the way I'm really supposed to [28 Jun 2006|07:50pm]

[ mood | rawr! ]

The first thing I noticed was that my head was pounding and not just the way it usually did if I got my ass beat the night before or hit a few rounds to many of Jack at whatever bar was gonna serve my underaged ass. Nope. This was like blinding my head is full of puddle water and I can't see shit pain. I had to blink a few times before I realized that I couldn't see anything cause I was layin' face down on a floor. Not even my comfy bed but the fucking floor. Okay, now I was pissed.

With a groan I rolled over a little bit keepin' my eyes shut as I tried to remember what happened. Angel. Angel punched me out. Why did Angel punch me out?! I should be punchin' him out! Me; slayer. Him? Evil. Well, okay not really evil but that was hardly the point when he was knockin' me out. And before I could put too many of the pieces together I started to remember what had happened. Mostly cause I could hear Wesley scolding Fred. Something about if she really loved Xander she'd help him reverse the spell. The spell?

Oh my God! Xander!


Despite the quickly subsiding headache I felt an almost lazy grin take hold of my features when I thought about Xander. How had I not noticed him before? How retarded was I? I mean c'mon! I was all up in a vampire's grill tryin' to get a piece. A vampire? I'm a fucking vampire slayer. And so what if he had a soul or whatever obviously he wasn't my soulmate. Cause that was Xander. I mean, I'm a slayer and Xander is....Xander. It's so obvious! Angel could never even hope to compete with that.

And Fred! That slut had better not have her hands all over my Xander or I would snap her fucking neck before she could even say 'y'all'. We might have been friends yesterday but that was before she tried to steal my boyfriend. MINE.

Quickly I opened my eyes cause I was ready to cut a fucking bitch but I frowned when I immediately noticed where I was. Hey! This wasn't fair even a little bit. Not only was Xander nowhere to be seen but I was looking out through the bars of the small cage in the library. Who puts a cage in a library anyway? Librarians don't need cages. Unless Wes was into some weird ass S&M shit and if he was I really didn't wanna know about it.

Angrily I slammed the palms of my hands against the door with enough force to rattle the entire cage and get Wes and Fred's attention.

"Let. Me. OUT OF HERE!" I yelled as I slammed my hands against the door again angry that it didn't seem to be budging. I was gonna fucking KILL Angel when I got out of this.

I'd kill Angel, and then Fred and Cordelia. That way me and my Xander would be left alone.

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[23 Jun 2006|10:09pm]

[ mood | apathetic ]

Once we were outside the confines of the library I got a greater scope on just how bad this situation really was. It wasn't just the girls inside Sunnydale High School it was the entire population of females in Sunnydale which was now proving to be quite a task getting him somewhere safe. After dodging a few dozen of them through the cemetery and a few branches that had snapped back in Xander's direction we were alone. I leaned my back up against the cold stone of the last crypt on our way out, listening and watching Xander carefully. He was just a kid and he made a dumb mistake and even I'd done that when I was mortal, hell I made a lot of mistakes along the way even when I wasn't mortal.

"We're going to figure this out." I offered up as I moved away from the crypt and he scrambled up beside me like a nervous chicken in a barnyard filled with foxes. I had to smirk at that because it kind of served him right, at least we all knew he wasn't going to mess around with magic any time soon. As we strolled along the dark brush and out of the harsh light of the street lamps I just had to ask. "What did you do? Who did it? Most importantly please tell me you didn't do this for Cordelia Chase." I glanced at him and he had an expression on his face that was one of confusion and not wanting to tell me that it was for Cordelia Chase. I realized I just stuck him in an uncomfortable place and I wasn't planning on doing that.

"Uh look, I have done some stupid things along the way for women so I can understand if you did do this for her." I said a little more gently as we ducked behind the hedges of a nearby house, a group of girls frantically calling out for him in hysterical voices. Poor guy looked like he was going to wet himself right then and there, I felt for him despite his stupidity. "If she doesn't come around then that is her loss, you know? You seem like a good kid- or guy, she doesn't know what she's missing. However the entire female population want into your pants right now, including Faith, must feel good in some messed up kinda way." I smirked at him as he thought about that and I pulled him from behind the hedge and we continued along until we reached his place.

"I'm not sure if you're going to be safe here, I'm coming with you to scope out the situation." I followed him down the cement steps and into the little dungeon he called home, not too bad I've seen worse crypts. Right, he's not dead and he shouldn't sleep somewhere this dark and dank for a human right? I mean Faith's room was above ground and light, of course she was safely tucked in a cage right now. She'd forgive me when this was over. I looked around and then at him, he still looked overly anxious.

"I'll stay for a bit." I reassured him and continued inspecting and blocking up windows with anything I could find.

[open to Xander- aka Lover boy]

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[26 May 2006|12:30am]

[ mood | scared ]

My next class after Cordelia pretty much ripped my insides out and did the Mexican hat dance on them with just a look, I was feeling ... not good. I just wanted to go home, but I knew that I couldn't. There was a test that I needed to do and as much as I was all for skipping, I decided not to. I guess I was just a glutton for the punishment from Cordelia, unfortunately. Sighing, I walked into class and took my seat in the back, waiting for Faith and Fred to get to class. At least they were in here with me and while we were in class, me and Fred could talk about the spell that didn't really happen last night. It felt real though, but hey, whatever.

Maybe we could try it again.

Or not.

Laying my head down on the desk, I could hear people start to come into the room and sit down. Miss Calendar walked in, closing the door behind her and that's when I sat up and glanced around the room to see Fred looking at me. "We need to talk," I mouthed and then leaned in close, "It didn't work," I told her and leaned back, noticing that Faith was staring at me. "Uh, hey," I said, but she kept on staring and now? Now this was getting more and more creepy, but hey ... Faith was looking at me. And looking at me with big eyes and ... wow. Bringing up my hand, I covered my face and looked the other way only to have some other girl looking at me.

What was going on!?

The class went by, slowly, too slow and toward the end, Miss Calender walked by my desk to pick up homework. She leaned down close to my ear and it gave me chills! Teacher chills. Oh God.

Stay after class.

Swallowing hard, I nodded and sat there before looking at Fred, who had a big smile on her face. This was weird, too weird, but kinda neat. No, not neat, no neatness involved, just weirdness.

Why wasn't Cordelia acting this way toward me?

The bell rang and I went to get up but I felt a hand on my shoulder, sitting me back down.

Uhhh.... I think I want my mommy.

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Under the gun [25 May 2006|11:45pm]

I couldn't believe the nerve of Xander to come and ask for that stupid bracelet back. What? I broke up with him so now he's playing Indian Giver? Ugh. Whatever. It wasn't like I wanted to hold onto the stupid little cheap trinket anyway. Even if it was really...pretty. And shiny. And probably the sweetest thing because we all know Xander has like zilch in the way of money. He must have had to save up for awhile for that. Alright, fine. So maybe it was fair that he took it back, but it didn't mean I didn't want to hang onto it.

Which was both completely repulsive and insane! Had I been losing my mind this year or what? The fact was? There was just something about him I couldn't stay away from. Which was....wrong! And bad. Yep. Really bad. Because on the socioeconomic food chain? Xander was at the very bottom and the bottom is not where Cordelia Chase sees fit to stay. Ever. So I did it. And not just for me! I'd love to see him explain to Faith and Fred that he was dating me. It just wasn't gonna work.

And so I just threw myself into the things that were really important.

"What do you think, Cordelia?" Amber asked me and I rolled my eyes at her.

"What do I think? I think she doesn't have a prayer of ever making it onto the squad. Did you see her last move? What was that? It looked like she should be one of the girls in a Vanilla Ice video. Plus, the shoes alone scream 'I'm a desperate wannabe' Prada is so last fall. Hello!"

Who needed to think about things like icky vampires, and creepy libraries and making out with Xander Harris in the janitor's closet when there was important cheerleading beauracracy to be discussed. I was so just needing to close the door on the freak part of my life and concentrate on the here and the now. Which is that I'm fabulous and everyone else is well....


"I'm gonna get a Diet Pepsi. I'll be right back." I told the group of girls I'd been sitting with as I stood up and headed towards the soda machine. I'd only made it halfway there before I bumped straight into....of course, with my luck? Xander Harris.

"Hello. Can you not see that I'm walking here or did you just have to exert your extreme oafishness on my brand new two hundred dollar shoes?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

At least we'd always have this to fall back on.
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What we've learned here is love tastes bitter when it's gone [07 May 2006|07:58pm]

[ mood | determined ]

When I left the library after me and Fred pretty much set up a date ... er, not a date, but a little side project that she'll be working on for me, I saw Cordelia at her locker. Everything that I felt inside for her pretty much clenched up my whole chest and made my throat get all swollen. Not a good thing for the Xand Man considering I have to be, er, what's the word ... manly enough to get back that bracelet from her that I gave to her on Valentines Day. You know, the day she broke my heart and stomped on it, but took the shiny gold away with her. Just like a woman. But, I didn't care at the time, mostly because everyone was looking at me and two? Because ... I wanted her to have it. It took me forever to even find something like that and it took me even longer to be able to afford it. Yeah, I was mooching off of my friends lunches for months just so I could afford something like that and there was that job that I had for almost two seconds and ... well, let's just say, it took a lot of thought and time for that bracelet that little miss likes to break guys hearts got for Valentines Day before she broke my heart and my pride and whatever else went along with it.

With a sigh, I cut through a group of people and walked over toward her until I was right behind her ... watching her and her long hair and her ... her back and her long legs and her cute little shoes and ... right. Broke my heart. Get bracelet back.

Done and done.

Tapping her shoulder, I rubbed the back of my neck with the other hand, "So ... seen any good bracelets lately?" I asked her and let my hands fall to my sides as she turned around.

"Xander ..." She started and might I add that she was looking unlike herself ... until I guess something just snapped in her head and she had that bitchy attitude that I love so much. "What do you mean? You gave it to me," she told me matter of factly and raising her eyebrow as her hand moved up her other arm ... doing something.

Anyway, not the point.

"Yeah well, the time I gave it to you I actually thought that you were going to be better than your little friends and you know, give me a chance and actually be my girlfriend. I was wrong and nope, you're just like your friends, the whole gang of sheep ... or whatever they are," I shrugged. "Bottom line? You're not my girlfriend, so you don't get the goodies that go along with it. Bracelet, Cordelia, I need it back," I told her. I felt bad because the only reason I needed it was for the spell and I kinda couldn't tell her that because ... well, duh. After she falls in love with me, then she can have it back.

She gave me one of her bitchy looks before turning around and looking inside of her locker. Letting my eyes roam the hallways, I noticed a few people staring, but I didn't let that bother me. They'd see how everything was going to change tomorrow and I couldn't wait.

"Here," was all I heard until I looked at her again and there it was. The bracelet.

"Happy?" She asked me and I took the piece of gold and looked at it and then at her before saying," No, not really," and walking away.

That night after I had dinner with the most dysfunctional family ever, aka, my family, I finally was able to head on over to Fred's. I kept the bracelet in my pocket as I rode my bike over, which isn't really safe, but whatever. I was on a mission, vampires be damned ... you know, until they come after me and then I'd be the one damned.

When I finally got there, I laid my bike down in the driveway away from the cars before walking up to her door. I was really going to do this. This was actually going to happen and I couldn't help but sweat a little bit because this? Was big. Tomorrow Cordelia wasn't going to be ashamed of me anymore. She wouldn't care. She's love me for me and then I'd finally be happy. Until I did the whole .. breaking up with her thing. Hey, I'd have my fun before and then she was going to experience what I was going to experience.

What was I talking about? There was no way I was going to break up with her. I've wanted her for so long, I could live with the lie that it's not real.

... I think.

(open to Fred.)

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You're a hard act to follow [06 May 2006|01:52am]

[ mood | predatory ]

"You see, Wes. It wasn't really my fault that I got an F on my Algebra test. An evil zombie dog ate my book so I couldn't study." I frowned at myself in the mirror, wrinkling my nose. "Crap. That ain't gonna work." I muttered, folding my arms over my chest and wondering how I was supposed to break it to Wes that I was flunking Algebra.

She alone must fight the evil...math tests. I didn't remember that part in the Slayer Handbook! Not that anybody'd ever actually given me a handbook but if there was one? I bet there'd be nothin' about Algebra in it. I was meant to kill vampires not look at little numbers and letter and symbols that meant jack to me. This sucked. It never used to matter what my grades were, or even if I was showin' up for school ever. This just proved that I was fucking horrible at school and I shouldn't have to go anymore. I frowned at that too, cause I knew there was no way in hell that was gonna work either.

It was back to tutoring again and I already thought Fred was gonna rip her hair out tryin' to teach me this stuff. Not to mention teaching Xander too. He wasn't exactly the brainiac of the gang either. At least with him bein' there I didn't feel too retarded.

"Screw this."

Grabbed my stake and headed downstairs. Wes was still at school and I knew it'd be another hour before he came late, always stayin' wicked late to read over some boring crap in a boring book. That was my watcher for ya. Least I wasn't gonna have to worry about him stoppin' me and askin' me about the math test. And hopefully by the time I got home? He'd already be tanked out for the night. Leavin' him a note on the fridge that I was goin' out slaying I headed out through the front door in just enough time to see the sun disappear over the horizon. Worked for me. I needed a good slay to get my mind off my day.

Thought about swingin' by Angel's crib and I probably would if I was just guaranteed to get laid, but he'd wanna hang with me on my patrol and then he'd ask the questions about my day and the test would come up again. Nah. I just wanted a low-maintenance slay, nothing too sticky just something to have a little fun with.

Pushin' my stake into the waistband of my jeans I started walkin' all casual like through the park near our house. Look at me, I'm a helpless little girl. Here vampire vampire vampire. I didn't think it really helped if you called them out but I didn't think it mattered since they couldn't hear what I was thinkin' anyways. And it really didn't matter when it was pretty clear nothin' was biting tonight. What the fuck? A girl goes out lookin' in the Hellmouth to let off a little steam and what does she get? Nothin', that's what.

Guess there was always the Bronze. Dancing was almost as good as fighting, and since the Hellmouth was offering me up jack in the way of action tonight I was gonna get my action on elsewhere. There were about three cemetaries between her the Bronze so I decided to swing through all of 'em on my way. By the time I reached the Bronze I hadn't seen anything in the way of Hellmouth hyjinks. Maybe it was some kind've vampire holiday or something.

"Help me help me! God please somebody help me!!!!"

Or not.

I burst into a run towards the source of the scream, rounding an alleyway corner near the back door of the Bronze only to see some big balding dude with his fangs about two inches away from some cute little redhead's neck. Someone really needed to let this guy know he ws runnin' a one man show tonight and his odds? Not lookin' so good.

"Can you tell me where the nearest 7-11 is? I'm gettin' a wicked craving for a slurpie. Maybe one of those microwaveable burritos. Feel me?"

"Scram," Vamp Boy hissed out at me, tightening his grip on the squirming little redhead who was starin' at me with pleading eyes. Or that look could be less pleading and more are you fucking insane?

"Don't think so." Smirked at him as I pulled the stake out of my waistband and tapped it absently against the palm of my hand. "Hey," I said with a shrug. "I get cranky if I can't have my burrito."

With that he finally let go of the girl who went scrambling back into the Bronze as fast as her lame little pumps would carry her. Was she one of the Cordettes? Wait who was I kidding? Scream like that? Ridiculous shoes? Definitely one of Cordelia's little lackeys. I ducked quick to avoid the meaty paw directed right at my temple. Bending completely forwards I swung one foot up backwards and nailed him right in the face. Score one for me.

He made another lung for me but I sidestepped him easily before punching him hard in the jaw. This was almost too easy. I was gettin' bored already. Grabbin' him by his jacket I slammed him up against the wall and was about to dust him when a low laugh rose up out of his throat. It was sinister enough to make me pause for just a second.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, tightening my hold on his jacket.

"I have a surprise for you, Slayer."

Just as the words left his mouth I froze cause I could hear feet hitting the pavement with a solid thud. How had I not noticed.....?

Lettin' go of the vamp I took a step away from him and slowly turned all the way around. Vamps surrounded me on all sides, so many I couldn't even count them all off. Maybe fifteen. Dunno. I failed the math test. But shit where did all these guys come from? Looked like every vamp in Sunnydale was out here waitin' on me to show up.

"Told you I had a surprise." Vamp Boy hissed out at me again before fists started flyin'.

For real. I was so busy evading attacks I didn't have much time to snap out alot of my own. So much for the easy kill. Gritting my teeth I angrily lashed out with a foot hearing the solid sound of a knee cracking before a scream rose up over the alleyway. One down. A ton left to go. Hell, maybe I should've just stayed home and faced up to the failed Algebra conversation with Wes. Smashed out with another wild fist only to get one in return. Alright fuck this, I just needed to get a couple of 'em dusted and real quick. Lashing out violently with my stake I weaved my way in between the throng of vamps, hittin' hearts where I could. Til the Vamp Boy with the surprise hooked a quick left and his fist connected hard with my face. Before I could fall over he grabbed me by my shirt and slammed me up against the wall.

"How do you like your surprise?" He hissed out, his face inches from mine.

"Kind of on the unoriginal side actually." A voice from behind the vamp said and before he could even turn around he was nothin' but dust in the wind, fallin' at my feet. Glancin' up I couldn't help but smile a little bit at the familiar figure standin' there with a stake in his hand lookin' all proud of himself.

"Your timing kind of rocks." I said appreciatively to Angel.

"I happened to be in the neighborhood and thought you could use a hand."

That was all we got before another vamp took a swing at me but I grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed his forehead against the wall. He slumped to the ground and I stepped over him.

"What's with these guys tonight?" I asked, feelin' all of my muscles tense up waitin' for the next hit.

"I was hoping you knew."

No luck there, but at least I wasn't fightin' 'em off on my own anymore. The two of us burst into action and for some reason I felt a little bit stronger, faster, more kickass I guess. Nothing like havin' somebody on your side. Didn't take me long at all to railroad over a whole bunch of 'em.

That was when I saw it.

A pale flash running past me. I looked up just in time to see a petite blonde girl disappear into the backdoor of the Bronze. Buffy....

Got distracted for a sec too long cause I got popped right in the nose for my efforts.

"Son of a bitch!" I cursed out, flippin' myself back up to my feet and puttin' my hand on my nose before gritting my teeth and glaring at the vampire. "You're dead." I hissed out, slamming my stake straight into his chest. Another one came at me but I kicked him easily in the chest and turned back just to see that Angel was cool. He seemed to be handling himself just fine so I disappeared into the backdoor of the Bronze after B.

My eyes scanned the crowd on the dance floor carefully, combing over all of the smiling dancing people. Rubbin' all up against eachother and makin' it even harder for a girl to concentrate. Buffy was in here. Somewhere buried underneath all the sex and alcohol in the air, and I had to find her.

It wasn't like I hadn't been lookin' for her. For awhile she was all I looked for and then I started thinkin' she maybe skipped town. Kind of like she just dropped off the face of the planet. Started constructing all these fucked up scenarios in my head about her kissin' daylight. I'd never get that lucky in real life. B was the one real thing I'd ever fucked up. For awhile I blamed myself for what happened to Kate but Buffy didn't even come close. Kakistos killed Kate, I'd tried with everything I was to protect her but it wasn't enough. With Buffy?

I drove her away.

And now I was gonna have to find her and end her so she wouldn't haunt me until the end of time. I wasn't stupid, I knew she'd haunt me dead or alive or somewhere in between. But havin' her erased from the Earth would have me sleepin' better at night for sure. Or maybe that was just the kind of way of thinkin' that got us into this mess to begin with.

I prowled around the bar, stalking it like a panther. I had to fucking find her. 'Cept I didn't see no trace of her anywhere. Saw a blonde girl walkin' towards the steps and immediately started runnin' over to her. Grabbed her shoulder and spun her around only to see some shocked lookin' Barbie chick starin' back at me like I'd lost my fucking head. Maybe I had.

"Sorry." I muttered before lettin' go of her and walkin' up the steps to the balcony. Restin' my elbows against the railing, my eyes raked the crowd again but no sign of Buffy. She was gone and I'd just missed her again.

"Hey, I was wondering where you disappeared to." A quiet voice said as Angel stepped up next to me.

"I thought I saw something. Sorry I didn't stick around down there, thought you had it under control." I shrugged sullenly, pissed off at myself for not catchin' up with her.


"Yeah. How did you know?"

"I saw her out in the alleyway."

A long drawn out silence stretched itself out between the two of us. Mostly cause B'd always been a sensitive subject for us. Angel still didn't even know about the two of us, how we'd been a little bit more than slay pals and I for one didn't want him gettin' hold of that information. And the reason I shoved her away, cause I saw her kissing Angel. I pushed her away for a vampire. In the end she was right, I was just as big a sell-out as she was when you got right down to it. Yeah, Angel had a soul, yeah I didn't kill people but I still cozied up with a vamp at the end of the night.

"Do you know what she might have wanted?" He finally asked me.

"No. But I'm gonna find out."

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[18 Apr 2006|01:32am]

[ mood | surprised ]

The entire night after Charles dropped me off at my house, I couldn't sleep. I wanted to get on the phone and call Faith to tell her what had happened, but I couldn't. She was probably still with Angel and even though I was still a little mad at her about that, I kinda wasn't. At least not as much as I had been when I left the Bronze. That vampire had tried to kill me, but got what was coming to him when Charles showed up and knocked him over the head. I felt a little bad about thinking Charles was a vampire too and that all he wanted when he got me in his truck was my neck all to himself. He wasn't a vampire at all. Plus, he'd saved me. And he had this really nice smile.

I must've fallen asleep sometime because the next morning I woke up with Mama yelling from the other room that I was going to be late for school. I guess getting attacked by a vampire makes a girl a little groggy. Jumping out of bed, I rushed getting ready and gave Mama an apologetic look on my way out the door. Daddy was waiting outside by the car and soon we were on the road towards the school.

"Didn't hear you come in last night."

Blinking, I turned to look at him. "Oh! Um.. well, me and Faith.. we went out and.."

"Oh, I know you went out with Faith, Fred. Just don't make the sneaking in a habit." He looked over at me and smiled a little. "Or your mama might have something to say about it."

Smiling at him, I gave him a kiss on the cheek and jumped out the side of the car. I wasn't late yet, but I would be if I didn't get myself into a classroom soon. I didn't even bother running by my locker but just went to my first class. Time must be playing a trick on me or something because it sure seemed to drag on forever all day long. I couldn't concentrate good at all but that kinda had something to do with my seeing Charles for a split second between classes and then me kicking myself for not going over to say hey. I hadn't seen Faith all morning, so I had no idea if she'd actually made it to school today. Mr. Pryce probably wouldn't have been too happy with that though. She was bound to come in sooner or later. Wonder if she even noticed I was gone. Okay, so she probably did.

Instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch, I headed to the library and was thankful that Mr. Pryce was gone for the period. Probably off doing whatever he was doing with Ms. Calendar or something. Didn't really matter much as long as I got to sit in the back without having to worry if he'd find me in the section he'd lectured me about more than once. It wasn't as if I was going to actually do any of these spells really. It was solely for educational purposes. Except for that one time that didn't turn out so well.

I'd been sitting there for a while when I heard the library doors open. Freezing, I crawled over to look past the bookshelves to see if I could make an escape out of here so Mr. Pryce wouldn't see me. I heard footsteps getting closer and I realized that I would probably be getting a talk today about getting into his books again. Crap! Picking up several of the books, I tried putting them back on their shelves as quickly as I could but when I heard someone call my name, I jumped and squeaked, dropping several of them on the floor. Woops?

Looking up, I saw that it wasn't Mr. Pryce at all, but was Xander. "Xander! Gosh, you scared me." Bending down, I picked up the books again and stacked them on top of the other but left them on the floor. At least I wasn't in any trouble. "What are you doing in here?" I frowned once I got a good look at him. Looked like someone just told him his puppy had died. "You okay? You don't look okay. What's wrong?"

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[22 Feb 2006|01:41am]

[ mood | cranky ]

She'd be back. Why wouldn't she be back? I mean, she said she would right? Faith and Angel would talk about whatever they needed to talk about or she'd come tell me they needed to go take care of some evil monster thing. Xander was already over there with Cordelia trying to act all suave and whatever he was trying to do. Faith wouldn't just leave me here without a good reason right? I mean it's not like I expected her to stay glued to my side the entire night. I wasn't little miss possessive clingy girl. I could be independent for a little while. I could be by myself for the rest of the night even. Of course I could. I didn't care if Faith went off with Angel for a while and they did whatever they did when they were together.

Except she said that she'd be right back.

I think I listened to about three songs and after deciding that the drummer really wasn't that good-looking before I got frustrated enough to head over to the bar counter and refill my coke. Faith and Angel weren't that far away. Maybe she'd even wave me over or something. Not that I came over here for that reason or anything. I needed more coke. Once the guy walked over asking what I wanted, I sat my glass down on the counter with a slight bang. "Fill 'er up." He raised a brow at me and just looked down at the glass then back up to me. "Um. Another coke, please." Giving me a skeptical look, he nodded and I exchanged money for another drink.

Making my way back through the crowd back to the table, I turned back briefly to see Faith still standing there with Angel. Huh? Back at the table, I then looked over at Xander again. His back was to me, but Cordelia was just talking. Like that was anything new. Rolling my eyes, I took a sip from my newly refilled coke and sighed heavily. Helplessly, I looked back to Faith. She wasn't going to be right back was she? I watched her for at least another full song just waiting. When I realized I'd finished my coke yet again, I glared down at the glass and pushed it away from me on the table. Oh screw this.

Grabbing my jacket off the back of my chair, I quickly made my way to the door not bothering to tell either Faith or Xander that I was leaving. They could have their happy Valentine's Day or.. something. I didn't care. Xander and his stupid cheerleader and his new smell good.. stuff. Now Faith and her new.. vampire.. friend. This day really was evil.

Brushing past everyone, I finally was out the door and walking down the street back home. I doubt that Mama and Daddy were even back from their night out or whatever they planned. This was so stupid. I had one friend who's special someone thought it was painful to talk to me and another friend who's special someone who would only stare until said friend went over to talk to this someone. Shoving my hands inside the pockets of my jacket, I just kept on walking. The streets were dark and I probably should've just waited for Faith, but who knows when she would've been through talking with Mr. Lurky.

I must have been mumbling to myself or something because as I continued to walk down the street I looked up and saw some guy staring at me with a grin on his face. Doing my best to pretend I didn't see him or notice that he was looking at me, I just put my head down and kept on walking. I quickened my pace and stared down at the ground. Maybe I could stop by the school and do some reading. I'm sure Mr. Pryce or Miss Calendar wouldn't be there tonight so maybe I could even sneak a look through some of the books he always lectured me about reading whenever he caught me staring at them. Sitting alone and reading in the library had to be better than sitting alone and doing nothing at a table in the Bronze.

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[18 Feb 2006|05:39pm]

Everything was going as planned, I had the present in my pants pocket, my hair looked nice and I smelled really, really good. Some kind of Aspen-Irish thing, I wasn't sure. I found a sample of it in the GQ that I had. All I knew was that Cordelia was going to be so surprised and maybe she'd finally realize that I was serious about her and not just all stalkery type guy that all the girls hate. Taking a deep breath, I looked myself over in the mirror and smiled a real smile that I haven't smiled in a long time. Well, except for when Faith would say something that would not only make me smile, but blush and stand up in places that were really embarrassing when we were out in public if you catch what I'm trying to say.

If you count being out in public being at the cemetary or in the Library with Fred there too.

Grabbing my jacket, I slipped it on and gave myself a grin in the mirror. Oh yes, Cordelia Chase was going to be mine.

So mine.

I headed out of the house and walked toward the Bronze. The conversation I had earlier with my parents pretty much ended with me not driving the van. Ever. Well, again, which sucked because now I was worried about being wet and sweaty by the time I got there. I hoped this cologne hung out and worked all night. That and the deoderant that I was using. God, I was so nervous, I knew I was going to be a wreck.

By the time I got to the Bronze, there were millions of people there it seemed and it took me forever to even find someone that I knew. Or actually wanted to see. Then I saw Faith and Fred at a table and I grinned as I walked over, then almost nearly tripped over the quarterbacks leg as he pushed it out in an attempt to bring down the sauve Xand-Man. Of course, I didn't say anything, just kept on walking on over to Faith and Fred.

"Hey ... so ... Have you guys seen Cordelia around?"
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[18 Feb 2006|02:07pm]

Well, let's just say, things have been a little quiet since ... all of that went down with Faith. I mean, yeah, we run into the occasional vamps, but it really helps to have a slayer with you all the time. She actually lets me hang out with her. Pretty awesome, although, I'd really like to hang out with Cordelia, but there's no way she'd let me hang out with her. I don't know why, I think I've finally proved myself to her. Haven't I? I mean ... I didn't scream and run the last time we saw a vamp together and I think I've saved her life ...well, like twice. Trapper keepers come in handy. And the fact that I keep a stake in my Jansport. I have to living in a town like this and really, Faith can't be everywhere.

I tried out for a few things in school and pretty much got turned down for all of them. They all know, even Cordelia. I mean ... it wasn't a secret or anything. But still, I'm trying to get myself into other things and well, it just isn't working out the way that I want it to. I don't want to be a librarian geek forever, which is what Butch is calling me since everytime he comes in (about once a week) he see's me in there with Fred or someone else. It's not my fault one of my best friends is a vampire Slayer and this is where we have meetings. Besides, I'm in some cool club that he'd never even hear about and ... er, how cool is that? Not that cool. Besides, we put our lives on the line everynight. Or I try to. Before I can't take it anymore and I have to step away, but some nights I am a good diversionary act.

I just wish that Cordelia would look my way. I don't know what it takes but at this point, I'd do anything. Anything. I didn't know what yet, but well, I'd think of something. Maybe I could send her something? Would a girl like her like flowers or chocolates or ... I don't know. I think I'll talk to Faith about it. Or Fred. No, Fred, she'd help me with it! I'm sure she'd know what to do about it, not like we haven't really talked about it before since I talk about Cordelia all the time.

Well ... on the other hand, she might be actually tired of hearing about it. I don't know what to do, but either way, Miss Cordelia Chase was going to be mine.
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[17 Feb 2006|05:45pm]

[ mood | busy ]

I never thought in all my life I'd live to see the day I actually wanted to kill a human again. I have lived this day and it was not that long ago, oh about a week back, two maybe. I volunteered myself to help with the whole getting Wesley Wyndham Pryce out of the hospital and tucked safely in his coffin bed. It took all of my strength not to just drop him on his worried British ass and let him worry about getting that pain pill down his throat from the bottom of the stairs. Breathe deeply. Stay calm. We do not kill humans, I repeat we do not kill humans. One. Two. Okay, so we're good now. I wanted to get the hell out of there afterward too because he was carrying on like a lunatic but knew I couldn't leave. I couldn't leave Faith alone her first night after getting her powers back, even it if meant sleeping all night in the corner of her bedroom in a chair. I did too.

She slept like the Devil chased her on the heels of God. Peaceful yet so restless. My hand would sometimes stroke across her skin letting her know it was okay, her body would still and she would sleep. A few times during that night Wesley had called out asking for Faith, she slept and I helped him. I swore a few times I was going to fluff his pillow right over his face. I refrained and instead gave him two pain pills instead of one, slept like a babe. I slipped back into Faith's room leaving a kiss on her forehead before heading back up to my place before the sun rose. I hardly slept that night. Paced. Back and forth, back and forth like some kind of caged animal. Which is funny if you think abou it long enough, I am. I am a caged animal. I guess that part of me is good being caged but sometimes I feel the burning urge to just kill and maim. Thrash and throttle. Steal and rape. Everything. I supposed this night was so bad because of one thing, one small thing.


I couldn't remember my mortal life much, hell I didn't even remember my last name. Liam, they called me Liam. Couldn't tell you anything about my family or friends, nothing. I drank a lot of ale. Ask me anything about Darla? I remember the dress she wore, the way her hair fell against her face, the small line of blood dripping from her satisfied lips and the color of the rich thick blood. Everything. She was all I knew and now she was gone and by my hands. I could feel so many emotions rolling through me and most of them were sadness but I had carried that along for longer than I remembered. The night I was cursed she knew, she wept for me, tried to find a different way for me. Save me. I pushed. She pushed. The tears and hatred in her tone telling me to get away from her, that I was disgusting. I'd been empty and sad for a long time. Darla set the norm for that feeling. So why am I pacing? Pacing for someone I hated so much but loved more than anything I ever had. Had. Faith was changing that.

I wouldn't go so far as to say I loved her, at least not out loud to her. We spent great deal of time together trying to track down Buffy, coming close more than once and having her slip out of our grasp. It was more than frustrating and considering the body count increase? I was sure that something bad was going to go down because of it. Small towns do strange things. I hunted when Faith was too tired, hunted until near dawn trying to find her. Figure out a way to make her okay again, or something again. One doesn't ever go back to being okay again after murdering, especially when you enjoyed every second of it. I kicked myself for the first hundred years with so much guilt I could be the Catholic church. It was getting close to Valentine's Day and I wondered briefly if I should get Faith something, I was never sure with her. She was so tough on the outside but every once in a while I'd catch a glimpse of the scared young girl trying so hard to hold the world on her shoulders. She was going to fall down doing that, I should help her. I'm doing the best I can, doing what I was sent her to do. My visions came and went and I was getting used to them for the most part, came in kind of handy fighting crime. I was able to see things before they happened and if we moved fast enough we saved a life.

Savings lives was a good feeling.

Coming here so far was a good decision.

Part of me will always miss Darla.

Things were going to be so much more than that.

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[17 Feb 2006|01:05pm]

[ mood | okay ]

When I first came to Sunnydale I never expected for things to turn out the way they have over the past several weeks. I expected to feel like I did in the very beginning. Resenting my reason for being here even though everyone else in my family seemed to think it was some sort of honor to be given the assignment of watching Angelus. My duty to my people. I see my being here as a duty, but that never meant I had to like it. Sometimes I've wondered lately what Uncle would say if he ever found out just how close to Angelus I'd gotten. Not exactly close, but my watching him from a larger distance was no doubt what he had in mind. The phone call of 'how things are going' will no doubt be coming soon and my telling him that I actually am grateful or even in Angel's debt would not go over well at all.

It's strange to think how my view on this particular vampire has changed over the past few weeks. It started before that night in the library, but that night and the ones that followed had me even more confused about who Angelus really was supposed to be. He was a vampire, but with a soul. That much I knew coming into all of this. The worst of humans have souls. Why would that make such a difference to a monster? So much of a difference that he was now saving people instead of either ignoring or killing them. It's strange, but I can honestly say that I'd feel safer Angel's company rather than some people out there. That's something that I know would raise Uncle's temper.

For the most part I've spent the majority of my time at the school. Whether it be in classes or spending time with Wesley or having a meeting inside the library about a particular demon or problem that needed to be taken care of somehow. As strange as it may sound the life I've had lately has a normality to it. Completely unnormal from anyone else's point of view, but for someone who grew up with legends of some of the worst vampires in all of history then normal takes on an entirely new meaning.

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